"Everybody likes to buy things but no one likes to be sold" isnot a new expression, but what does it really mean? People want tofeel like they are making their own decisions, yet at the sametime, people like having an expert who will help them make aneducated decision rather than sell them.

So, how do you do that? The answer is not to use yourgrandfather's selling skill of persuasion, which uses tricky stepsand questions that can make customers feel like they are beingtrapped. At the same time, it is not a passive "information dump"that gives a customer a lot of information, but removes controlfrom the sales professional. The key is using "influential sellingskills," a well-planned strategy that allows sales professionals totruly understand the customer by creating likeability, trust andinfluence. It should have the feel of a comfortable and casualconversation. This is a very simple concept in theory, but, make nomistake, it's not that easy to pull off! There are three thingsthat every sales professional must know and do to keep customersfrom feeling like they are being sold.

1. Ask questions to understand a customerversus sell a customer. If a sales professionalhas attended any selling skills training, he or she knows to askopen-ended questions, however that's just the beginning. The reasonmost people feel like they are being sold has little to do with thewords in a sales professionals' response; rather it is the intentof the question itself. Most sales professionals are askingquestions to sell the customer something rather than tounderstand them - or worse, just to ask questions.

One example is when a sales professional asks, "Would it bebeneficial to increase your profits or improve your ROI?" Thatquestion can be insulting to a prospective customer, or makes thecustomer think, "Oh, no, here comes the sales pitch." A salesprofessional may also just tell the customer about the product orservice before ever understanding anything about the customer orhis or her current situation, which is another red flag. This tellsthe customer the sales professional is selling not understanding.Just remember the old phrase, "No one cares about how much you knowuntil they know how much you care."

Just like a book or story, there is a beginning, middle and anend to the question-and-understand process. This does not mean asales professional should ask a prospect a hundred questionsbecause that would just be annoying; it does mean that questionsmust be purposeful and in the correct order.

The first few questions should be about the prospect's company,who they are, what they do, how are they different than theircompetition. The next few questions should be about their currentrelationship with the person or company that provides them with theproduct or service you are selling: questions like, "Tell me whatyou like (or dislike) about your current provider?", "Who do youcurrently use?", and "How long have you been with them?" The lastset of questions should be about their actual usage of the productor service. Use questions like, "Tell me how you use your currentservice?" and "What does the perfect product look like?" Inunderstanding the customer there are not any trick questions, butthere should be questions based on known industry weaknesses or acompany's strengths.

2. It's not just what you say or how you say it, butwhen you say it. This is where most sales professionalslose it. Even when a sales professional knows what to do, manytimes he or she just can't stop it. A sales professional will askthe prospect a question and the prospect gives just the answer thesales professional was hoping for. So, the sales professionalimmediately explains how their company does it better, then anotherquestion is asked, and once again the sales professional offersanother great solution immediately. The problem is the prospectstarts to see a pattern and thinks, "Oh, I get it; every one of myanswers is another reason to buy this product," When this happens,the prospect will start to put up a wall. So, fight the urge tooffer solutions or say anything about your company until you arecompletely done asking all three sets of questions. By not giving asolution after every response, the prospect will feel morecomfortable and relaxed, and will feel as if the sales professionalis really trying to understand him or her. A prospect (or customer)will tell a sales professional everything they need to know ifasked.

3. Selling is a skill. Make nomistake; selling is a skill and just like any skill to get betteris to practice. Selling is one of the most difficult skills of anyprofession because you must deal with non-tangibles such as egos,attitudes, personalities, emotions, and situations you have nocontrol over. The greatest mistake most experienced salesprofessionals make is thinking that just because they have beendoing it for a number of years that they know it all and have noneed to practice. A sales professional is never too good or cannever have enough experience that they don't need to practice. If aprofessional athlete ever said he or she was not going to practiceanymore because he or she has been playing the game for more than10 years, we would think he or she was crazy or just lazy. Justlike there are advances in medicine or techniques in sports, thereare advances in selling skills.

4. Bonus Tip: Be proud. Being a salesprofessional should be something a person is proud of and shouldnot try to disguise it with names like "consultant" or "problemsolver." A consultant gets paid for their advice regardless ofwhether or not the customer makes a purchase, and a problem solvergets paid for solving problems regardless of whether or not aprospect buys anything. A sales professional may consult with aprospective customer and solve their problems, but they get paidwhen the prospect buys their service or product. In fact, being agreat sales professional is an honorable job that truly helpspeople. Just like a doctor is critical to a person's health, asales person must establish a relationship built on trust andinfluence, and is responsible for helping people make the rightdecisions.