The holiday season is laced with minefields for grieving people,especially if they are facing the first holiday season without aloved one. Homes get decorated with sentimental ornaments, candles,and trimmings. Songs carry unbidden emotions. There are countlessgatherings of friends and family where the empty chair is all tooevident. And because expectations for joy and cheer are so high,these mourners often feel lost, alone, and sad. Your employees,clients, and associates will never forget it if you reach outcompassionately during this time, letting them know you understandhow hard it is.

Remember not to write cards and notes wishing a “Happy” or“Merry” holiday. Instead, choose texts that wish peace or hope.Then include a hand-written message acknowledging their reality.Here is one possibility: “Wishing you Happy Holidays at a time likethis seems hollow. Instead, I wish you peace. I wish youhealing. I wish you hope.”

Or: “During this holiday time, I wish you moments of lightnessin the midst of the pain. I wish you companionship of belovedpeople in the midst of the loneliness. I wish you healing as youlearn to survive these days. Most of all, I wish you peace.”

Or: “You may find that few people understand what you experienceduring this holiday season. Try to be patient with yourself andothers, as you find your way through the ups and downs it willsurely bring. In the meantime, do what seems right to you and takecare of yourself. Concentrate on what is most important, and knowthat I am here for you.”

You may also wish to give or recommend these helpfulbooks:

1. Alan Wolfelt. “Healing Your Holiday Grief: 100 Practical Ideasfor Blending Mourning and Celebration During the Holiday Season.”Rather than a narrative, it is a list of strategies and tips.Although not every suggestion will make sense for everyone, thelist is comprehensive enough that surely some of these practicalsuggestions will hit home for each of your recipients.

2. Harold Ivan Smith. “A Decembered Grief: Living with LossWhile Others are Celebrating”. Harold has authored many insightfuland practical resources for those who mourn, and this one is noexception. The book sensitively examines the reality of the seasonfor grieving people, and provides comfort and encouragement in itsmidst.

You may wish to give one or both books to your grievingemployees, clients, or associates. Both are small and easy tonavigate, and both cost less than $15. With the different formats,the recipients and everyone in their families will be able to findunderstanding, consolation, and practical help in these pages.

This is a good time to remember, too, that your own holidaysdon't have to be unequivocally happy. Allow whatever sadness maycome along with whatever joy your heart can hold. Find moments ofpeace. Give love freely. Care for yourself and be there for thoseyou care about. These are the things that will make it a holiday toremember.