The words "I'm sorry" don't always have to come out ofyour mouth–sometimes it's your actions that do the apologizing.(Photo: Shutterstock)

Be honest with yourself: are you a constant business-apologizer?Are you apologizing for your presence, for breathing air, foroccupying space, for simply being?

No? Are you absolutely sure?

"I'm sorry" is the silent business killer

The words "I'm sorry" don't always have to come out of yourmouth. Actions speak louder than words, and sometimes your actionsdo the apologizing. Sometimes you use other words, but youraudience hears an apology.

Related: What to do when your prospect stands youup

KevinTrokey is founding partner and coach at St. Louis-basedQ4intelligence.

When you show up at a prospect's office, do you tellthem, "Thank you so much for taking the time to meet withme." I know, you're wondering, where's the apology inthat? This message makes them more important than you. It impliesyou are an interruption, an imposition, an inconvenient presence.Instead, say something like, "I am so happy it worked out for us toget together today." It is still respectful but conveys anopportunity for both sides.

As you make your sales pitch, do you find yourselfsaying things like, "What we try to do is…" or "What welike to do is…" This language is soft and is interpreted as anadvanced apology for not performing. Instead, use strong, confidentlanguage, "What we do is…" or "For each of our clients, our processis to…" Own and commit to the outcome. Confidence is attractive.Apologies are not.

Maybe you apologize before even meetingsomeone. Do you get physically ill at the idea of pickingup the phone to make that cold call? Or, maybe you breathe a sighof relief when you are sent to voicemail and then hang up withoutleaving a message? It may only be in your own mind, but you areapologizing to them for the interruption you almost were.

When seemingly interested prospects unexpectedly stallout, do you find yourself simply looking at your pipeline infrustration but won't take any action to push them along?If so, you likely wonder if the time they already gave you waswasted and that, short of having to call them with an apology, yousimply won't ask them to waste any more of their time.

Do you lurk in the corner of social media platforms, notcontributing, commenting, or interacting with others? Areyou quietly apologizing for taking up space?

When giving a presentation, do you start by saying, "I'mreally not a very good public speaker" or "I hope you getsomething from what I'm going to share." As soon as you apologizefor what you are about to say, your entire audience is looking tovalidate your apology.

You're apologizing for the wrong things

You have valuable ideas that can impact others. You have hadunique experiences from which others can learn. You have hadsuccesses that others need to have for their own. And you havefailures that others can avoid.

Part of your responsibility on this journey we call life, is tobe present in the moment, to fill an appropriate level of space,and to share yourself with others.

The only thing we should apologize for is keeping us toourselves.

Read more: 

• You ain't got no alibi – your pipeline'sugly!
• Good brokers, bad conversations
• 4 tips for cold callingconfidence