"What's the main reason your calls and emails are not getting returned," I asked a group of advisors recently. Half a dozen hands shot up.

"Value," one of the advisors answered. "They're not getting enough value from the call or the email." Heads nodded in agreement. But the answer was incorrect. People aren't returning your calls or responding to your emails because they're not getting enough curiosity.

In the old days of manipulative sales, some trainers taught people to leave a message that sounded as if it had been cut off: "…My number is 555-1234. The reason that I'm calling is [muffled noise, then click]." The idea, of course was to arouse enough curiosity to get the sales-victim to call back. But this is wrong on so many levels.