Marcus looked confused as I got up from the table.

“That's…that's it?” he stammered.

The two of us had just finished having a nice lunch together.Our conversation mostly revolved around a sharedinterest in the local NBA team.

I sat back down, feeling about as confused as Marcus looked. “Iswhat it?”

He looked down. “I thought…I thought I was getting fired or something.”

Related: 3 reasons to mentor a millennial (or anyoneelse)

For the next few minutes, I calmed Marcus down—assuring him thathe wasn't getting fired. It really was just a lunch to catch up asfriends. There were no ulterior motives. It was clear that Marcusdidn't trust me enough to think I wouldn't blindside him with anuncomfortable conversation over a casual lunch. To get trust, youmust give trust first.

Set the expectations up front

After my lunch with Marcus, I set up what I called the“Principal's Office.” The name was an homage to my days as ateacher. As a kid in school, you knew what it meant when you werecalled into the principal's office. You also knew what behaviorlanded you there.

It was a small conference room attached to my office. That'swhere all my uncomfortable conversations took place, and you knewthe reason behind it. This also meant you wouldn't get blindsidedby uncomfortable conversations anywhere else—like Marcus thoughtwas happening over lunch.

The Principal's Office is a great tool for internaluncomfortable conversations because it lets you set theexpectations up front.

You may not be able to call a client into your Principal'sOffice, but you can still set the expectations up front. When aclient's behavior is cause for an uncomfortable conversation, itshouldn't be a surprise when it takes place.

Uncomfortable conversations with the G.R.O.W. model

We used the G.R.O.W. model for our uncomfortable conversations.That stands for goal, reality, options and finally the call toaction: what will you do, and by when? Like the Principal's Office,the concept of a G.R.O.W. meeting is easy to extend to anyuncomfortable conversation you're initiating.

It also requires a little preparation up front.

Before having the uncomfortable conversation, take the time tothink through the first two letters. What is the goal, and how isthe current reality different than the goal?

In a typical G.R.O.W. meeting, the idea is to figure out optionsfor how to take the current reality and hit the goal. Then, withoptions decided upon, leave the meeting with a commitment from yourteam about what will be accomplished. Those steps can be tough todo with a client, but that doesn't mean you can't use the sameformula. By keeping the G.R.O.W. structure in the back of your mindduring the conversation, you'll be able to navigate its directionto a positive result for your company.

At times, it can be helpful to continue through the rest of theG.R.O.W. structure ahead of time. Think through some of the optionsand what you're willing to do—and what you're not willing todo.