Americans want their cake. They want a fork to eat with. But don’t tell them they can’t have seconds. Cuz then you’re just being mean. Or worse, “violating their rights.”

On the other hand, the feds seem to have more daddy issues than Carrie Prejean. I can’t decide who’s ticked me off more this morning: voters, the elected elite or marketing reps who can’t return phone calls. (I know one way big carriers can cut costs … but that’s another story.)

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