Michel De Saint-Pierre wrote, “An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out?”

Saint-Pierre wrote The Aristocrats (a 1956 award-winning French novel, not to be confused with The Aristocats, made famous by Walt Disney). Honestly, I know nothing about him, but his reminder is priceless, isn't it?

Do you know people like this? People who can't wait to blow out your light? They seem to relish the opportunity, don't they? Their motto: I'm not happy until you're not happy.

I bet you'll be spending a Thursday afternoon this month with at least one of them. Because your mother gave you the look when you suggested you might not make it this year, what with open enrollments and all. You knew it wouldn't work, but you had to try.

Because outside of Thanksgiving, how much time do you spend with those people?

Exactly. Doesn't take long to give them the ole “you're dead to me,” does it? When you're creating a new world you don't have time for those people.

But try to wrap your brain around this: What if you live with that person? What if that person is you? And as bad as it is to be that person to yourself, imagine how crappy it is to be that person to your kids.

In The Tinderbox Tapes, I wrote about “doing it different.” And if we're gonna do it different, we have to consider where we've done it wrong up 'til now. My wife and I consistently tell our boys (15, 11 and 9 years old) that as they grow up they should do what they believe God put them here to do—even if mom and dad don't get it.

That's a tough one for parents because we want what we think is best for our kids. And we think we know best what career path or course of study or extracurricular activities they should choose. But here's the thing: It's their dream, not ours.

For example: About the only thing I can tell my 15-year-old is to choose what he's passionate about and never consider whether it pays well. If he's good at it, the money will come. If he's not, he can adjust. But if he chooses something for the money, he'll end up pulling a Thelma & Louise when he's 40.

In our zeal to create our own new world, let's remember that our kids will want to create one of their own and it might not be the one we choose for them—just as ours isn't necessarily the one our parents chose for us.

So let's do it different today by not being that guy—or girl—to those around us, especially our kids. Let's tend those flames instead of rushing to blow them out. Otherwise, we may never know what astounding possibilities lie in our office, our association, and in our very own house.

Instant Insights /

Don&rsquo;t be that guy&hellip;

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