I had a conversation with a good friend of mine earlier this week that blew my mind. My friend—who lives many states away from me—and I were talking about Facebook, and noticeably her decision to get off the social media site. After intending to "take a break from it for a while" and return later, she said she now intended to never do so.
"It just really makes me feel bad about myself," she sheepishly told me. Months after leaving it, she said she feels noticeably happier about her life.
Oddly enough, the next day another friend—one that I often talk about happiness factors with—sent me a link to a story about a new study linking Facebook to unhappiness with the note: Maybe this isn't helping us.
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My friends are right: According to the study conducted by researchers from two German universities, clicking your way through photos of friends' life successes can trigger feelings of envy, misery and loneliness.
One in three Facebook users say they feel worse after visiting the site. It's even worse for people when they see all those pictures of cool vacations that everyone seems to be having—except them.
The most common cause of social media frustration, researchers say, comes from users comparing themselves socially to others, followed by a lack of attention from generating fewer comments or likes compared to friends.
Sure, we can argue our lives are better and more efficient with technology at play in every aspect of our lives, but at what cost? Instead of a fun and easy way of connecting, it's just one more source of stress. And we know how bad stress and depression is for our health.
I must admit: I'm not the biggest social media fan. I'm far too much of an introvert and technology-hater to genuinely enjoy it—at least on an everyday basis.
And of course there's that common factor, too. Comparatively, my life seems depressingly different from everyone else I know. When my life's postings might include something like—"Caught another virus! Feeling crappy today!" or "Spending the night watching reruns of a bad 1990s melodrama," while my cyber friends might be complaining about their crazy busy traveling schedules or their plans for their upcoming wedding to the love of their life or preparing for baby No. 3, I find myself asking what's wrong with my life.
All this is the grass is greener scenario, version 2.0. And that's never a good measure of happiness—because you always lose. Facebook and other social media sites is just one more thing to be aware of when we talk about the happiness factor. Happiness is deeply personal and is more than status updates and relationship changes and photos of homemade birthday cake. It's also possibly one of the most important health factors; after all, personal happiness—or at the very least, contentment— may be the best kind of wellness.
(Oh and on a totally unrelated note, if you happen to see this story on Facebook, would you mind "liking" it? It would really hurt my self-esteem if you didn't.)
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