I have a running joke with an old friend. We often go extended periods without connecting, so when we finally do, it's common for her to talk at length about what's been happening in her life. After several minutes, she'll say, “But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?”

It's a Bette Midler line from the movie Beaches. And no, I didn't know that. I had to be told. Don't go revoking my Man Card just yet.

It's more than just a funny line, though. I've taught my sales teams this for years: Every decision maker with whom you meet is Bette Midler's character. They love to talk about themselves. In fact, the more you let them talk about themselves, the more they will like you. And they're not even sure why.

But here's the rub. People around us agree that we're “just perfect” for sales because we have “the gift of gab” or are “such a people person” and we associate those traits with talking—a lot.

But let me challenge that assumption today by asking: Are you genuinely interested in your prospects and their needs? Are you willing to ask questions and listen to them talk, or are you addicted to the sound of your own voice?

The reality is that too many times, we walk into an appointment or enrollment with our primary focus on ourselves. How do we look? How do we feel? How do we smell? Can we close this in time to pay the rent this month?

I have a news flash for you, but you should probably sit down first. I'll give you a minute to find a chair.

OK, here goes: Your prospect doesn't care about your good hair day or how you smell or whether your rent gets paid. Well, they probably have some interest in how you smell, but you get my point.

If you want to hit your numbers this year, you'd better, in the words of my kids, shut your face.

We need people who can let the employee talk about their concerns for protecting their family, and offer the right solutions. We need people who genuinely care about the needs of others.

Zig Ziglar famously said, “If you help enough people get what they want, you can get everything you want.” Notice he didn't say, “If you jump up and down shouting, 'Look at me! Look at me!'…” He didn't mention dazzling them with your brilliance. He didn't mention your “gift of gab.” He just said to focus on them and solving their problems.

Good ole Zig… Always been the wind beneath my wings.

Instant Insights /

&ldquo;Enough about me&hellip;&rdquo;

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