True and appropriate. Picture this. Every mind has three layers of resistance to your presentation. They are: deletion, distortion and generalization. So, every time you make a suggestion or comment, it bumps into one, two or all three layers (let's call them "filters"). Those filters try to make sense of your comment. Those filters work to make your comment fit within the world you already trust as true and appropriate.

Example: Deletion. Let's say I believe that blue chip stocks bring the biggest value to my portfolio. In your seminar, you tell me that silver speculation is better. What happens in my mind? The buzzer goes off; the red flag goes up; and, your content is promptly filtered out. It is deleted.

Example: Distortion. Let's say that your advice to me is to buy a Universal Life policy. I begin to create a mental picture of my family sitting around the pool. We begin wading through a twenty-five page UL illustration, and trying to understand it. I see my dog, Woody, grab a mouthful of pages and play "keep away" with an agent in a seersucker suit. I see my wife catch the remaining pages on fire and dance out to the street like a whirling dervish. I'm distorting reality. What did you say?

Example: Generalization. Let's continue with that example. You tell me that a UL policy is better than blue chip stocks. I already know about term life because I just bought one. So, I automatically generalize the UL policy to being similar to the term policy. This is how you can go from specific knowledge to a universal application. It's how you know what to do in any cafeteria in the free world, or how to use a pay phone. It's how you know how to use the shower in any hotel (except the ones in the UK).

In your seminar. When you talk to your audience, those people are actively filtering everything you say. Isn't that a frightening thought? It's especially frightening if you're inflexible and cling to an internal frame of reference. Since all people actively filter everything you say, it means that (at its best) the content you're working so hard to perfect is ineffective. Your content is being shot full of holes as soon as the words pass your lips. Here's the logic: the more holes your content contains, the less effective your message can be. Obviously, when your message is less effective, fewer people make appointments. It is that simple. Want to learn what to do about it?

What is the solution? How can you avoid being deleted, distorted or generalized out of the other person's mind? There is only one solution. You must learn to talk in the way that makes sense to the people in your audience (or the person across the desk). The more sense they make of what you say, the more appointments you will make. There is no way around this. And the points I'm making here are vital to the continued life of your business:

1. If you focus only on the content of your presentation, you will lose in the long run. Content is like a handful of numbers and letters. It is meaningless until you organize it into words that make sense on the other end. If you organize it incorrectly, you end up with gibberish. Ever listen to techno-nerds talk about computer code? That's gibberish to most people, but it's the secret code to them. So, if you want to communicate to techno-nerds, you need to structure your content so it's relevant to them. Ever listen to a couple of cyclists talk? Gibberish! But, to them it's the secret code. The point — you have to find the secret code for the person or people you want to reach. Otherwise, you're appealing to yourself!
2. If you focus on the structure of your content, you will begin to reach more people. You will discover much greater flexibility in how you can communicate. You will see that you're communicating at more intimate levels. In effect, what happens is — you start appealing to the filtering system. You start by-passing the mental filters. You start to set more appointments.

Reading an audience may seem like a daunting task. In truth, it's easier than that. You simply apply your "people-reading" skills to members of the audience. Then, see how many people are in rapport with you. Consider the logic behind these three steps:

Step One. Look at the people in your audience. If you're good, you can determine their personality types just by looking. (see Face Values) If you can't yet read faces, do this. Say, "Raise your hand if you ever do your own investment research." As you probably know, people who will initiate their own research are comfortable being analytical. Analytical people are mainly procedural. So, if most people in your audience raise their hand, you know to give a procedural presentation. If most of your audience does not raise its hand, you know you can give the same presentation, but don't make it procedural. This is your first step to not getting deleted, distorted or generalized into oblivion.

Step Two. Discover what is important to them. You can guess: financial security, peace of mind, care-free retirement. If you guess those things, you're probably wrong. Those things are abstract concepts that don't really play out in real life. Ask. "I assume most of you want financial security. What does that look like to you?" Then, write the answers on the board. Now, you have some actual values that you can continually point to. Now, you have something that will help make your information relevant. So, it won't be immediately filtered out.

Step Three. Learn if they want to avoid financial problems or achieve some goal. You could guess once again. The logic being, the market has been in turmoil for a long time. People have lost a lot of money, so most people are looking to avoid more losses. That seems safe. But, it might not be. So, ask. Let's say you wrote "financial security" on the board. Ask that person, why is that important? You are looking for evidence of whether the person (and others in the audience) uses inclusive or avoidance language.

Let's say the person says things like: "so I can gain…so I can get…I'll achieve." That's inclusive language. It means you'll structure your presentation to show how your audience will gain something (like financial security). But, let's say the person says things like: "it will keep me from…I won't have to…I'll avoid." That's avoidance language. When you hear those words, you know to structure your presentation to show how your solutions will help your audience protect itself.

Reward

If you read my articles on a regular basis, you know that I always reward you for reading the entire article. This month, I'm offering to give you a totally free 15-minute coaching session on how to read people. Just send me an email to make an appointment.

In my work with advisors, the biggest deficiency I ever see is their inability to "read" other people. If you want to connect with prospects and audience members, you have to read them first.

There is a law in psychology that the person with the greatest flexibility in the situation wins. The better you can read people, the more flexible you become in your communication. That means, when you learn to read people better, you place yourself in position to win more — if that's important to you.