The life of an advisor can be seen as an endless sequence of presentations. In any presentation, where you want to make a point or influence someone else's decision, you have five choices. Which of these do you do more often?

1. Tell a big fat lie. Obviously, in this situation there's nothing ethical in telling a lie. If you lie to your prospects, you're probably not reading this article. However, let's say you approach your prospects telling them that you want to help them plan their life for their perfect calendar. You're doing "consultive selling." In other words, you're using the camouflage of consulting to make sales. Isn't that lying? Let's say you suggest the client buy a product that earns you a commission. Are you acting in good faith or are you just generating an income?
2. Exaggerate. Is this really unethical? Exaggeration is better than outright lying, isn't it? Perhaps not. A big fat lie could be seen for what it is, but a crafty exaggeration could actually trick the other person. Ever hear the phrase, "Second to none?" Isn't that an exaggeration? After all, it implies that the firm or product has been judged to be the best. But, if others can occupy that space, too, isn't the claim really an exaggeration?
3. Leave something out. This is simply exaggerating in reverse. And, of course, it's wrong. You might do this by remaining silent and letting the prospect convince himself, even though his logic and reasoning are flawed.
4. Fill your language with disclaimers. In the financial industry, we're bombarded with legal disclaimers. "Past performance is…" Like politicians, we can "spin" facts to insinuate our conclusion.

5. Communicate openly and without personal agenda. This is extremely difficult and rare, especially in a sales-focused industry. When you expose the truth, you expose the advantages and the limitations. That invites people not to hire you or buy your products. However, it is the only way to communicate ethically. The only way.

Ever test drive a Lexus? The sales person behaves like a guy just along for the ride. He is likely to remain silent throughout the ride. His behavior is anything but hard-sell. It says, "I'd love for you to own this car because it's perfect. But, I won't attempt to convince you of that. Instead, I'll let you figure it out for yourself."

As you might recognize, the first four choices are manipulative. Manipulation by a financial advisor is a subtle and devious form of domination. It's abuse, and it's a cousin to terrorism and desperation. It is behavior acting on a belief that we live in a world of scarcity.