HR just sent us an email announcing a companywide "cleaning day" where we all band together and get our offices spick and span.

I'm sure there are good reasons for this: people work better without clutter, scrubbing what used to be an orange out the back of the office fridge encourages bonding, and who doesn't work harder when they smell like Windex?

I have a few problems with cleaning day. For one, my desk is immaculate. Really. When I leave for the day viral pathologists use my office as a clean room.

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