Well, it’s that time of year again—when people dream ofunlikely, if not impossible, gifts or lie awake at night trying tofigure out the best possible gifts for loved ones, within theirbudgets, of course.

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But for those who don’t have to worry about a budget, or savingfor retirement, or an unexpected bill for $400, or dealing withfinancial worries of any kind, there’s a whole other class of giftsout there.

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We had fun (well, envious fun in lots of cases; awe in others)trying to figure out just what Santa might bring to those who haveso many chimneys he’ll get lost just trying to find the rightone.

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After consulting some experts—the Neiman Marcus catalog, for instance, as well as Harper’s Bazaar, Business Insider—we settled on some that arewhimsical, some that will make you wonder why anyone would pay thatkind of money for them, and some that are just too ridiculous to bebelieved. You get to decide which is which; we’ve already made ourdecisions.

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Of course, there are some that just can’t be excluded, despitethe fact that they didn’t meet all our criteria; one isthe Lotus Blanc watch by Chopard, which is setwith 25.66 carats of white diamonds and has petals that open andclose over the watch face. But it must be priceless; at least wecouldn’t find a price for it anywhere, but since it’s got more than25 carats of diamonds, it’s probably a tad out of our price range,anyway.

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And then there’s the New Year’s Eve party for 300 people on therooftop of the Knickerbocker Hotel in Times Square. Costing a mere$1.6 million, the event provides two nights at 150 of the hotel’srooms, along with all the fixings for a bang-up party—dinner,drinks, DJ. Not exactly at the top of our list, despite thecost—sorry, Neiman Marcus.

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So without further ado, here are 10 ridiculous luxury gifts thatnonetheless will never replace those nostalgic sugar plums we usedto have dancing in our heads. The gifts are listed from least tomost expensive.

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The Welcomer

10. The Welcomer.

What is The Welcomer, you may ask? The short answer is a fancyalternative to toilet paper, from Joseph’s Toiletries inSwitzerland.

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Says the catalog: “Get acquainted with JOSEPH’S Toiletries for 6weeks or surprise a friend setting a new precedent for contemporarypersonal hygiene and health.” The set includes: 1 JOSEPH’SToiletries Original Box; 7 Tissue refills of 25 sheets each; 2Gentle Cleansing; 2 Balancing Care.”

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Don’t think it’s an extravagant enough gift? You might when youget the bill; it’s 150 CHF (Swiss francs), which translates toapproximately $151.35 or €128.47.

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MacKenzie-Childs Courtly Check Moose Head

9. MacKenzie-Childs Courtly Check Moose Head.

Relax, it’s not real. In fact, Neiman Marcus points out in its 2017catalog, it’s a “[h]and-painted moose head form (hard foam) usingacrylic paints” with a wreath made of preserved ferns and othermaterials and handcrafted moss-decorated antlers. Oh, and eachmoose head is made to order.

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To have this, um, treasure in your very own home will only costyou $15,000. Oh, and another $695 for shipping. And remember, it’smade in the USA!

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Saint Laurent Niki Swarovski crystal-embellished leather knee boots.

8. Saint Laurent Niki Swarovski crystal-embellished leatherknee boots.

Net-a-Porter wants you to know that “[t]he‘Niki’ knee boots grounded most of the looks on Saint Laurent'sFall ’17 runway, but it was this pair that completely stole theshow—and dominated our Instagram feeds. Made from supple blackleather that slouches into soft folds, they have been handcraftedin Italy and encrusted with 3,000 Swarovski crystals that covereven the signature cone heel.”

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Not exactly bargain boots, of course, at $6,922.

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Vintage Chanel basket bag.

7. Vintage Chanel basket bag.

Well, vintage sounds better than secondhand, but in truth thisChanel item dates only from 2014. Still, says website Xupes, it’s silver calfskin with silverhardware and a silver interior, made in Italy, and is “in excellentpre-owned condition.”

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And all this will only set you back $10,603. Imagine! And thebasket isn’t even full!

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A complete set of Winnie the Pooh books.

6. A complete set of Winnie the Pooh books.

If you’re splurging for someone still stuck in their childhood,this is THE gift to get: a complete set of A.A. Milne and E.H.Shepard volumes of Winnie the Pooh, published in London by Methuen& Co. Ltd. from 1924–28.

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Shapero’s rare books offerings includethis lovely venture back into early childhood (not that any childwill ever be allowed to touch thisset again, at$39,767) that will no doubt revive pleasant memories of Pooh andthe Hundred Acre Wood.

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Oh, and be sure to store them on a shelf well away fromsunlight, lest the leather crack and the dust jackets fade.

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Highclere Castle jewelry box.

5. Highclere Castle jewelry box.

For those who still haven’t outgrown their Downton Abbeyfixation, this jewelry box could do the trick.

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Constructed in maple with burr maple, ripple maple and quiltedmaple details, promises David Lynley, “the Highclere Castle architectural boxis made up of 10,944 individual pieces of marquetry which have beenmeticulously selected and pieced together by one of LINLEY’s highlyskilled craftsmen. The decorative stonework round the roof is lasercut and etched in maple whilst the 72 square finials are turned onan ornamental lathe which ensures symmetry on each piece.”

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In a limited edition of five, this little trinket holder willset you back a mere $86,181.

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Tectonic bar.

4. Tectonic bar.

Also from David Lynley, the Tectonic Bar, with an ebonizedwalnut exterior with white gold leaf and nickel accents, “embodiessuperlative quality and innovative design whilst epitomizing theintricacy and precision of fine craftsmanship at its best.”

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In fact, “[t]he walnut skin of the Bar appears to split as iftectonic plates beneath the Earth have broken it apart to revealthe glowing metallic core within.”

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With secret compartments galore and an 8–12 week deliveryschedule, it may be a tad late to order this James Bond-ish bar forChristmas delivery, even if it does cost $172,352.

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Champagne and personalized cuvée with Armand de Brignac.

3. Champagne and personalized cuvée with Armand deBrignac.

Neiman Marcus to the rescue again, with a four-person experiencefor the budding vintner to the Armand de Brignac vineyards,according to Bur.

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Not only do you get to tend the grapes, but you can samplereserves and even create a personalized cuvée. If that’s notenough, there’s also a first-class trip to Paris, a helicopterflyover of the Champagne region, dinner at L'Assiette Champenoise,and a night in the Chateau Domaine Les Crayères.

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And it will only cost you a paltry $150,000.

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Stephen Webster experience and 7.2 carat emerald.

2. Stephen Webster experience and 7.2 carat emerald.

Another Neiman Marcus delight, this little jaunt to Zambiaincludes, says Business Insider, a visit to the single largestemerald-producing mine in the world, along with two days at TheRoyal Livingstone Hotel by Anantara.

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Then it’s off to London, where you can collaborate with StephenWebster to create a personalized trinket of jewelry with a7.2-carat emerald, and also dine with Webster and his wife.

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The price? A mere $300,000.

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His and hers Rolls Royces.

1. His and hers Rolls Royces.

Neiman Marcus’s answer to car pooling, these two cars togethermay not hold as much as your SUV, but what price can you put on thefeel of the wind in your hair?

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Did someone say price? A mere $439,625 for the blue ones, or$445,750 for the orange ones. Orange? No, wait, Halloween is over.We’ll take the blue.

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Says Business Insider, “You'll get two handcraftedRolls-Royces with V12-engines, hand-sewn leather interiors, andsilver bonnets.”

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Of course, we only have a one-car garage; so maybe nextyear.

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