I finally, albeit reluctantly, opened the statement and couldn't help but feel something was missing. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning.

For a long time I never told people what I really did for a living. We asked my profession, I usually answered "aspiring novelist." It wasn't because I was ashamed of investment management. It was because of those awful questions that would ensue.

It's kind of like if you're at a party, and someone says they're a magician. Invariably, somebody asks him to do "his favorite trick" and, pretty soon, he's surrounded by everyone wondering why he isn't getting paid.

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