Predicting the future is neither as hard nor as easy as it would appear. Anyone can have a high degree of confidence foreseeing the direction of things for the next four quarters. And while exact precision (i.e., “black swan” events) might be difficult to discern when peering into the crystal ball for hints at what the world will look like in 10 years (and beyond), it's almost impossible to miss certain general trends.

The hard part is the vast middle. Forecasting between one year and 10 years ahead reflects nothing more than dart throwing. Here, the only thing distinguishing the low-brow fortune teller from the high-brow academic is their Flesch-Kincaid score. (For those not familiar with readability analysis, this refers to the relative complexity of the language they use.) With that in mind, the best long-term predictions are those that rely on humor rather than certitude. With that in mind, here are my top three predictions for 2017.

#1: February 2, 2017 – President Trump's DOL suspends the Obama DOL's new fiduciary rule, which was finalized in the latter half of 2016. “President Trump?” you ask. He beat Joe Biden in a landslide. “Joe Biden?” you ask. He was drafted after Hillary announced, just before the Democratic convention, she was stepping aside for “health reasons” and to “spend time with her family.” Later that same week, well after the last editor of The Los Angeles Times left work on Friday, the White House officially issued a Nixonian pardon absolved Hillary of any crimes she “may or may not have beeen involved with.”

#2: July 15, 2017 – Fidelity reports the number of 401(k) millionaires have surpassed a quarter of a million people, more than tripling the number reported in February 2015. They attribute this to two factors: First, what is now being called the “Trump Rally”—a more than doubling in the stock market since polls began pointing toward a Trump landslide in September 2016; and, spearheaded by Senate Majority Leader Ted Cruz, the passage of the Romney IRA. The former became a tidal force that raised the retirement savings boats of all employees and the latter removed the savings cap on all retirement plans.

#3: September 2, 2017 – In a huge White House ceremony, the Child IRA is signed into legislation, removing the dependence on Social Security for all Americans born after Jan. 1, 2017. On this day, the anniversary of the enactment of ERISA, surrounded by dozens of new born babies and their photogenic moms, a grandfatherly Donald Trump pens the historic law enabling all children to begin saving up to $1,000 a year in their own personal retirement savings accounts through age 18. Invested at normal market return rates, this new generation will likely have more than $2.25 million when they retire at age 70—and that's before they start saving for retirement on their own.

There you go. Believe it? If so, I have a bridge in Arizona to sell you.