Are you delivering what your clients want to buy, or holding them hostage by focusing on what they have to buy?

I came across an article years ago that sums this up perfectly.

It was written by the CEO of a startup entertainment company that was going to remake the movie Grease starring the boy band NSYNC. They were standing in the lobby of a national record store chain for a promotional event, with all of the record store executives in attendance.

The author asked the executives, "What do you think all these people want when they come into your store?"

The CEO said, "They want to buy CDs." The author replied, " I don't think anybody wants to buy a CD."

The CEO was visibly offended and responded, "Do you have any idea how many millions of CDs we sell every year?"

The author said, "But I don't think anybody wakes up and says, 'I want to go out today and buy a round piece of plastic with a hole in it'. They do wake up thinking about the new song they heard and how good it made them feel."

"What they really want is to hear that song again. They want that feeling back as fast as they can get it."

Related: 9 signs a client relationship is in danger

The author points out that if those record store execs understood the difference between what their customers had to buy and what they really wanted, maybe they'd still be around. But we know how that played out: a computer company figured it out and made billions of dollars from the technology, while record stores are long gone.

Don't be the record store

You also have to help customers obtain what they want to buy. And I'm going to tell you, insurance ain't it.

Nobody wants to buy insurance, but it's a have-to-buy item. The impact you get to make on businesses, the difference you make for people, the quality of life you enjoy, and the income you can have are benefits of a career in this industry.

The REAL reason you stayed

People have to buy the products you sell. Most of the time, you don't have to convince them to buy; all you have to do is convince them you're the one they should buy it from. But if you only focus on the need they must satisfy, you've limited the conversation you can have. Meanwhile, they're resenting the fact they have to buy what you're selling. If you focus on something they resent having to buy, you build your relationship with buyers on a foundation of resentment.

Replacing the foundation

We can change that. Ask yourself why your clients buy the product in the first place. I would guess the clients you enjoy the most buy insurance because it's part of the bigger picture they want for themselves. They understand that insurance is the have-to-buy in order to become an "employer of choice."

Second, ask them directly what they want. If you slowly take the time to understand the motivation and goals of your clients, it changes the game. No longer are you building a relationship based on resentment. Now you are building a relationship based on appreciation.