In times past, having large families was how retirement planning was done. You raise them now, they look after you later. Getting clients talking about their children is a great way to learn about their own hopes and dreams.

Agents and advisors have other reasons for bringing the family into the conversation. They want to meet the heirs and develop a relationship now, when everyone is healthy.

Too often, heirs move money away because they don't have a bond with the advisor. Advisors also see helping family members as an opportunity to sell up and down the family tree.

5 topics to start a client conversation

The proud grandparent is a classic television stereotype. Far from getting them talking, you can't stop them!

You want to introduce specific subjects. In most cases, you want to ask three questions:

What was it like for you?
What would you like it to be for them?
What's your plan for making this possible? (Paying for it.)

Let's look at the five areas:

1. Education. It's the obvious one. If they live in a big city, they might have attended a local public school. They might perceive the quality of public education in the area as declining. This means private school is on the radar for “providing the best education.” They've heard over and over the contacts children make in school carry over into the business world.

This will be expensive. Relatives and in-laws often make vague “we'll help” promises. College savings plans provide a framework to ring fence those assets, so they are only used for permitted purposes. The parents can encourage the extended family to give cash gifts during the holidays. These get invested appropriately.

Expenses run through college and sometimes beyond. What happens if one of the parents isn't around? Life insurance is often part of the solution.

2. Career. This can go three (or more) ways. They may want their child to qualify to enter a high earning profession. Becoming a doctor or lawyer are the standard careers you hear about in family movies. This takes post graduate education. More money needs to be saved.

The second route is following in their footsteps in the same profession. Dad is an engineer; their daughter will become an engineer. Mom is a police officer; son will become one too. On the CBS series “Blue Bloods,” don't they refer to it as the family business?

The third route is actually the family business! The restaurant or supermarket may have been in the family for generations. This may not require specialized education, but it might require key man insurance if the business has other partners.

3. Wedding. Some parents think their expenses are done once their child graduates, gets a job and moves out. Unlike college, an expense your client sees ahead on a specific date, weddings can come up suddenly. Your child falls in love. They propose. It all happened so fast. How is your client preparing for this expense?

4. First house. In the UK, it's called “Getting on the property ladder.” It can be difficult for first-time home buyers to get a down payment together. Parents (your clients) often think buying their home early was the smartest decision they ever made. They want to help. Part of the financing might be provided by “The Bank of Mom and Dad.” What's your client's plan?

5. Grandchildren. Time passes quickly. The whole process starts to repeat itself, starting with education. Your clients might see their grown children living in a different world. They are finding it tough to save after paying household expenses. They place a high value on education. They want to help. It all starts with those college savings plans.

In each of these instances, you can see where business comes from. You are helping your clients solve problems they know are not going away. You are well placed to propose solutions.

Bryce Sanders is president of Perceptive Business Solutions Inc. He provides HNW client acquisition training for the financial services industry. His book, “Captivating the wealthy investor” can be found on Amazon.

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Bringing a client's family into the financial planning conversation

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